Coming Attractions

Happy 4th of July, friends. To my UK readers, sorry about the whole Revolutionary War thing. And the English language.

Even as I wrote that intro, Viva, who is toilet training, announced “I’m starting to poop!” and Pringles triumphantly stood up on my ottoman only to tumble backwards and land in a pile of screams. Odie and I haven’t yet worked out a schedule to allow me to write. Pringles’ four giant eruption hematomas kept her and me up most of the night and I think Viva has ringworm on her butt cheek. Life with two kids doesn’t slow down.

Here is what I’m working on:

I shall do my best to answer some of my most frequent search queries such as “Are Dooce and Jon getting a divorce?” “Does Brett Hampton work?” “Who is Mrs. Odie?” and “Does chai tea make me bleed more after an abortion?”

Women still can’t have it all. Because Mitt Romney has most of it.

What I’ve decided about teacher training after watching “Grey’s Anatomy”.

And finally, how I arrived at the conclusion that I’m not Stay-At-Home-Mom material.

Enjoy your middle of the week holiday, America. I’m off to dose the dog with Xanax.

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About Mrs Odie

Like you, only funnier.
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4 Responses to Coming Attractions

  1. adrianairis says:

    LOL I’ve missed you and although I don’t always comment because I read you on my phone I needed you to know I’ve missed ya.

  2. Jane says:

    I love the “Does Brett Hampton work?” search. HA! I think the answer to that one is obvious after her constant posts of him doing nothing but looking like an ancient surfer dude. I think Brett is very content riding the coat tails of his plastic wife and living their plastic/faux life. One does have to wonder if he will get sick of the Kelle and Poppa show at some point and the nauseating Hamptons will end up like DOOUUCHE and her husband. It wouldn’t surprise me.

    • Mrs Odie 2 says:

      If so, I think she’ll definitely sell her next book: “Blooming Alone: Enjoying the Small Things as a Single Mom”

      • Susan says:

        Hampton reminds me a bit of that horrid Kate Gosselin. Once she became “famous” she was glad to kick her husband to the curb so it was just “Kate Plus Eight.” Hampton will call her blog “Kelle And Kids” once she gives Brett the boot. I honestly can’t see that marriage lasting the sham they call their life.

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