At the end of the night, I feel empty. Last evening I didn’t have the energy to turn my piece of shit laptop on and wait 20 minutes for it to load. In my class, we had read a short story wherein the protagonist describes his father after a long day of work as so tired he cannot even take off his boots. He just sits in a chair for an hour, staring at the TV.
After the first day, I was so impatient to get to my daughters at day care, I had to keep reminding myself to drive carefully. I wanted to drive over the top of every car in front of me. The happiest parts of my day are the hour between 7:30 and 8:30 when I drink my coffee and chase my children around the house brushing hair, fastening zippers and snapping snaps, and squeezing feet into shoes. Odie wakes up first and packs lunches. My administration is exceptionally pro-family, so all of the moms and dads of little ones either have first period prep to get our kids to school, or sixth period prep to pick them up. I am working an 80% class schedule, so I have the first two periods off.
I was terrified of getting two small girls ready for day care and out the door by 7:00. It has made all the difference in the world that I don’t have to. It also means that after they fall asleep around nine, I have time to stare at the TV, too tired to take off my boots.