I’m Sorry I Deleted Your Comment

Please don’t be mad.

Come on, baby.  Don’t be like that.

You see, the comments I was receiving were falling mostly into one of two categories:

Fuck that bitch.


Fuck YOU, bitch!

And frankly, I wasn’t fond of either.

I posted some comments that were critical of my blog in order to show that I don’t JUST publish the sycophantic comments.  That opened the floodgates for further comments and it didn’t take long for them to turn to insinuations about my parenting and my child that make me want to spit hot fire. 

I’m a good enough mother.  I’m sure I could be better.  I know for damn sure I could be worse.  I have tried my best to preserve my daughter’s dignity, privacy, and identity.  I used to post photos of her when I first started blogging, but she just looked like a chubby baby, and most chubby babies look alike (just like Winston Churchill, my friend Trixiebell points out).  I took down some more recent photos of Baby V.  There are creeps out there, and I don’t want them scrolling through pictures of my child.

When a person makes herself a public figure by posting thousands of pictures of herself, using her real name, and giving intimate details about her life, that’s pretty ballsy.  It’s not something I’m interested in doing.  My writing is for public consumption.  My life is not.  That’s me.

When thousands of people declare how beautiful and perfect a person is, it tends to make some people frown and say out of the corner of their mouths, “She isn’t THAT cute…”  Observe the huge Megan Fox backlash on www.celebitchy.com.  I agree, however, that it’s unkind to criticise someone’s specific features.  I have crooked teeth, close-set eyes, blotchy skin, and cellulite.  I am average in the attractiveness department.  I would not want to hear what people have to say about my looks, were I to include numerous photos of myself here (there are a few in the old posts).  So, I deleted the comments that insult a blogger’s physical features. 

I have more to say about this, and I’m sorry to leave you hanging, but my child just finished her snack and I want to play with her before she goes to bed.

Annnnnnd, I’m back.  Odie came home from his Men’s Warehouse errand having made a stop at Borders, so we enjoyed some new books together before bed.  He also bought her some stuff to entertain her on the plane this Friday.  We’re taking our first trip together as a family and I’m scared shitless (and not just of the credit card bill), but that’s another post.

I was talking about deleting your comment.  Again, don’t freeze me out, baby.  Not after you’ve been so good to me.  Just hear me out.

A commenter, whom I’ll call The Reverend, called me to the mat.  Accused me of being jealous.  Told me I wanted to BE K-Hizzle, but could not be.  Suggested I stop “obsessing” over the blog and better use my time to make some “fairydust memories of [my] own” with my child.  I admit, that made me really mad.  The implication that I am taking time away from Baby V to “obsess” about something irrelevant and unimportant.  I have said recently that I skim the offending blog while I’m at work, during my lunch hour (which is actually only 30 minutes).  I can read extremely fast, it’s my job, so I really waste very little time on the website.

I would have been done with the commentary a long time ago, but I got so many emails from readers begging me to continue.  That’s very seductive to a writer.  I’ve admitted to being jealous of other bloggers’ READERSHIP, and of their affluence compared to mine.  The latter is a flaw.  I am ready to confess it.  My mother was briefly married to a very rich man during my formative tween years, and I got a taste for the finer things in life.  Security.  Superior health care (there have been serious health issues in my family).  Central air.  A swimming pool.  Veterinary care for my pets.  Higher education.  Weekly maid service.  Oh, that was the life.

My current situation is a result of my own choices and perhaps my karma, so I really have no one to blame.  In fact, I’m grateful on a daily basis.  I just don’t write about it.  Many people out there would envy ME my rented home, my secure employment, my healthy (knock on wood) child.  There’s a reason envy is a deadly sin.  It leads to very ugly, dark thoughts.

I do not disown my shadow self.  I recognize that I cut myself off from empathy as a coping mechanism during a traumatic childhood.  I have a rough abrasiveness to me that comes from a life of having to be especially tough from a young age.  I can honestly say, though, I don’t want to be anyone other than me.  Which is a good thing, because I have no choice.

The Reverend claimed to be a reader here for a while, but I don’t believe that.  I have nearly 80 posts here, and like 10 of them are about dooce or Tori or the little stuff.  People who read my writing know that I’ve admitted to all of the shit I’m accused of (envy, greed, lust for power, attention whoring) in my blogs, and that I’ve always had a tone of self-deprecation and playful tongue-in-cheekness.  So, The Rev’s call to action, “Prove that your blog’s existence doesn’t rely on KH or any other blogger you secretly wish to be. Can you??!!” is moot, as far as I’m concerned.

And I call her/him “The Rev” because s/he had to bring God into it.  “Do you believe in God?”  “Pray for a change of heart” and “What would he think?”  God tells me He doesn’t read my blog.  He just doesn’t have the time.  But, he loves me, just the same, being how I am made perfectly in his image and all.  And then He’s all, “Besides, I know everything you’re thinking as you think it, so what would be the point?”  And I’m all, “Good one, Lord.”

Reader, I’m sorry if I offended you when I deleted your comment, or never posted it in the first place.  I love nothing better than intellectual debate (and gummy bears), and many of you have really made me think.  Having my ideas challenged or being shown a point of view I didn’t consider before enriches me and makes me better.  I used to spend my evenings after Baby V went to bed watching television.  Now, I write.  And I bloom.

Also, I watch television.


About Mrs Odie

Friendly Pedant; Humble Genius
This entry was posted in Essays/Commentary, Parenting, The Bloom Project and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

24 Responses to I’m Sorry I Deleted Your Comment

  1. mrsk6 says:

    I think you made the right decision if you deleted what I think you did (I didn’t do my homework, Teach’, and go back and look). Criticizing one’s writing, lifestyle choice and all out attention whoring all over the internet is one thing, but bringing to one’s looks is kind of playgroundish. Just a note of support for my bloguru.

  2. jess says:

    OK. I’ll have to stop posting after this since you refused to post my comment, and it’s your little space here. For the record, I was so curious about this “K-hizzle” that I went to see what all the fuss was over. I have to admit, I liked her blog. I read lots of posts that were pre-Nella. KH was the same person then as now from what I took away. How lucky little Nella is to have ended up with her over perhaps another. They will be just fine. And NOT because apparently there is a book in the works. She seems like a woman who knows what life is about. I see no negativity in her posts or cuts toward another. She does, or appears to, enjoy life’s simpler offerings. They are a beautiful family it seems. Outwardly, yes….they are attractive. But, I’m speaking of that inner beauty thing!! That, Mrs. Odie is the point and meaning of this life. As I said, I read lots of archives. There were numerous posts where she spoke of not having money for things (ie: a desk she wanted, or getting a quilt for her daughter from craig’s list, coloring her own hair, etc). I think you have assumed quite a bit about “wealth” being the reason for the happiness she conveys to her readers. More power to her that she has over a million hits, or that she will have a book in the future. I think her message needs to get out there. I think we are a society so longing for hope, peace, happiness in a simple fashion. That’s what she is doing. Good for her! I only brought up God to you because I don’t get the impression that you know Him (ie: I’ve seen you use His name in vain numerous times, the swear words, and you just seem…well, not really happy). But, I don’t know….that is between you and Him. Still, I have said a prayer for you. I hope you don’t mind. Peace to you, and I’ll go elswhere and stop bothering you.

    • jess says:

      Oh, and I forget the grading aspect here. Yes, there should have been a comma after Mrs. Odie in one of the sentences. Thanks for pointing that I also did the same thing in my last post. It’s from failing to proofread and not due to my lack of knowledge on that. One last thing, and I mean it this time! I forget the title of one of the recent posts, but she talks about how women can hurt one another, and how we are all really trying our best, etc. Maybe read that one a couple of times carefully. Gosh, Mrs. Odie, I’ve really come to care about you I guess. That is why I wrote. And, when I aid Nella is lucky to have ended up with her over another, I wasn’t inferring you as “another”. I know you are sensitive and wanted to be clear. I think Nella was a gift for Kelle, and in turn, others are being postively impacted. You may not get that, but I believe that God is at work here. Peace!

      • jess says:

        said…not “aid”. I really need to proof before hitting that little button. I have a toddler too, and I was multitasking with making breakfast while typing. I’m really not some crazy person with these posts. Not a religous fanatic. I am a Christian, and I STRIVE to live in such a way that others see that in me. Doesn’t mean I always achieve that, nor am I a saint. I found I actually have lots in common with KH. So, you would probably dislike me (as if you don’t already 😉 ) I’m off to enjoy the small things in my little world today! Thanks for introducing that site to me. She’s doing good things. I know these comments won’t post either, so no worries. Maybe I’ll check back in on you from time to time if you don’t mind. Would be intereted to know if you’ll get another “little” of your own. Peace.

        • jess says:

          Oh shoot! There were still other typos with incorrect spelling here and there. I go at lightening speed and see my mistakes once it’s too late. So, put the red pen away. I know about them. I promise, Mrs. Odie. My little fingers will refrain from sending anything else to you! I’m really not crazy, despite how this seems. I’m outta here!!!!!!

  3. Angie says:

    I like your bog and your honesty a lot. I think “The Rev” should concentrate on his ghost writing rather than come here.

    • jess says:

      I will just be a silent reader. Please don’t suggest I leave the playground. I want to see what happens with Mrs. Odie and how she blooms!

  4. SlippidyDippidy says:

    Came across your blog last week after hearing that K’s book was going to be called Bloom. I typed in her name+Bloom on google out of curiosity and your blog came up second in the search haha. I have read her blog since “the birth story”. My sister is quite the fan of her blog and she turned me on to it. I’m not a “die hard” fan, but I find it entertaining and do find some charming qualities in her and her family. What I must tell you is that I find your blog entertaining as well. It is indeed possible to be a fan of both teams. (The reason this is possible is because I don’t personally know either of you. I’m just a consumer. It’s amusing that “just readers” would be offended by anything anyone says.) You are funny and an excellent writer and your commentary on her blog has amused me thoroughly. If someone is going to put them self out there to the extent that she has, all I can say is that they better have their big girl britches on. It’s one thing to have a small public “mommy blog” as many of my friends do, with occasional pictures of your kids and family on it, if you know there is very little traffic and you pretty much have tabs on who visits. In her case however I’m not really sure how she can sleep at night knowing that thousands or millions of strangers are viewing her children and home. Well I guess I know how she can sleep- her sponsor sidebar continues to grow larger. Anyhow, I will continue to be a reader of both blogs and I thank you both for the entertainment. Bravo ladies!

    • Shellie says:


    • Mrs Odie 2 says:

      For the record, I had never even heard of Kelle Hampton or her book or her motto when I started writing about The Bloom Project. My friend got divorced and blossomed like a flower, and I thought back to “The Witches of Eastwick” and it gave me the idea.

  5. JMW says:

    Angie – You surely aren’t insinuating that the “Rev” is Kelle’s dad, are you?

    Jess – I wouldn’t worry at all about your typos. Going through Mrs. Odie’s archives, I found several things I could take a red pen to. It appears she is quick to judge others’ grammar and punctuation and spelling but can also make those mistakes herself. Who knew?!?

    Mrs. Odie, perhaps you should just turn the comments off if you’re going to pick and choose what gets posted. I realize it’s your blog and all and you can do as you wish, but I feel my comment yesterday was neither “fuck that bitch” or “fuck YOU bitch.” I am glad, though, that you took down the comments of whoever posted the wedding article. I can’t remember who it was that posted it, but they were clearly grasping since they didn’t even have their facts straight. Obviously not a reader of Kelle Hampton’s blog or they would have known that what they were criticizing wasn’t even legit. And to go searching for the wedding write-up from years ago to obviously dig up dirt … sad … very, very sad.

    I hope you continue to bloom, Mrs. Odie. Life is too short to dwell on the negative and be jealous and hateful, even if it is what some of your readers want.

  6. Liz says:

    How could facts have been wrong in a wedding posting? No one made that up so the facts were…correct. It was all over the internet-just like the kids.

    • Mrs Odie 2 says:

      Yes, I didn’t think there was anything wrong with that in and of itself. The wedding announcement was public. It invited all sorts of negativity, though, so I just did away with the whole thing. I thought it was interesting to read. I remember skimming some pictures KH posted of her wedding on her blog and thinking, “Wow, that looks like a fancy affair.” I wonder what a country club wedding with nine bridesmaids and three flower girls would cost!

  7. JMW says:

    Well, if Mrs. Odie would have posted my comment from yesterday, you would have been able to see what I was talking about. The commenter was criticizing the spelling of names, saying they were Kelle’s siblings, when, in fact, they were not. I believe the names were Dahna and Joann. Her sister was the maid of honor. The other girls were only listed as bridesmaids. She was also criticizing the spelling of the “sons” referencing that Kelle must have gotten her unique (my word) way of spelling names from her parents, when, in fact, the “sons” are her stepsons, so she had nothing to do with the spelling of their names. Sad that people have to stoop so low and criticize how someone spells a name. It’s called originality … as I said in my comment yesterday that never got posted. Maybe Mrs. Odie could put it up …

    • Mrs Odie 2 says:

      Sorry, I can’t find it. I got a glut of comments yesterday, and many of them were saying they “felt sorry for” my daughter, having a mother like me, and I got mad and started skimming them and just didn’t post anything that had a whiff of negativity to it. I don’t remember reading yours.

  8. JMW says:

    I realize a wedding announcement is public and can be found by a simple Google search. My point was that she posted it and then “assumed” certain things from the announcement and commented on them erroneously. Not to mention she took the time to find the announcement in the first place, clearly with ill intentions.

  9. Liz says:

    Hi Rev. I have one question for you. Where DO you get all the free time to come to this blog to run interference? Get back to the ghost writing. Focus Rev!

  10. Angie says:

    The Poppa never gives up trolling the internet defending dear daughter does he? My oh my. You would think a woman in her thirties wouldn’t ask Daddy to be her mouthpiece. Embarrassing!

  11. Against exploiting children says:

    I agree with another commenter on here who said “I’m not really sure how she can sleep at night knowing thousands or millions of strangers are viewing her children and her home.” What drives someone to post everything imaginable to every wierdo out there? Doesn’t she worry? I’m sorry but I have zero respect for a mother who disregards the privacy and safety of very young children this way. Also, how does she know that Nella wants her diasbility posted all over the internet? Nella is protected by privacy laws and has rights as a disabled person but the mother cleary doesn’t care. Finally, there’s a lot of information out there detailing why it is so unwise to put your information and your children’s information out there for the world to see. Obviously the attention must trump concern in that case.

  12. Eileen says:

    That blog is just a complete turnoff between the never ending pictures of her life and the way she only allows people to see the “magazine ready for the closeup side.” I feel for her kids. They have a stage mother for a parent and IMO there is no difference between her and that completely revolting Gosselin woman.

  13. yagerbabies says:

    Oh man! I am loving it! I am sorry that I’ve been going through to find more dirt on KH…I swear I’ll stop now and read some non-Kelle Hampton related posts. 😉

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