Monday Potpourri

I ask your indulgence of what are sure to be bumpy transitions between paragraphs.

How does anyone get a toddler to eat healthy green foods?  Or even yellow or red ones, for that matter.  Baby V will only eat cheese, macaroni and cheese, and the occasional piece of fruit (with cheese is a plus).  And chocolate.  I gave her M&Ms during our flight home from Colorado, and since my girl is a precocious talker, she remembers what “chocolate” is and asks for it by name.

Today was a rainy, gray Monday.  I adore this kind of weather.  I was made to live in Seattle or Dublin.  We rarely get this kind of delightful dreariness in Southern California, so I cherish it when it does happen.  Sunshine bums me out.  Nothing puts a scowl on my face like the sun shining on it.

My students are the opposite.  Everything I did and said today was met with whiney, “Do we HAVE to?” looks and heavy, long-suffering sighs.  Apparently, my students feel they should NOT be expected to work or pay attention under the following conditions: when it’s raining, when it’s Friday, when it’s a minimum day or an assembly day, or some other non-typical schedule day, when it’s Monday, when it’s Tuesday after a three-day weekend, and when it’s the first fifteen minutes of class or the last fifteen minutes of class.

Good to know.  I need to revise my lesson plan book.  You see, I left work on Friday afternoon with the White Board Configuration prepared for Monday (for you non-teachers, that means I had an agenda, learning objectives, state standards, and a “Do Now” activity all posted on my board in my perfectly neat “teacher” printing, using various colors, natch).  I had the “Do Now” activity posted on the main board, ready to be copied.  My lesson was planned for the day, my materials gathered, and my desk tidied.  I made sure that I could walk in first thing Monday morning and begin teaching.  Heck, I could even have started my lesson from the hall as I walked in the door.

Were my students equally prepared?  As Will Smith would say in every one of his movies, “Oh HELL, naw!”

When I inquired, quite exasperated, why no one was doing anything I asked, one girl replied, “It’s MONDAY,” as though I were mentally ill.

Now that Odie and I are back to doing the same job again, we struggle to “rah, rah, rah” for each other.  Some days, the best we can do is agree that we’re lucky to have jobs and decide that we will be grateful for that.

The whole Odie family is on antibiotics for ear infections this week.  What?  Sorry,  I thought I heard you say something.  Yeah, it’s been like that.

One of my sisters is arriving this Friday from Greece.  I haven’t seen her in three years.  When she moved to the island with her Greek husband, my niece was nine months old.  And they thought California was the worst place they could live economically.  My sister has never met Baby V.  I wasn’t even pregnant yet when she left.  She is coming home with her daughter, my niece, and they are staying for the whole winter!  Hello, Disneyland with all three cousins!!!  (I’m not a fan of excessive punctuation, but each girl deserves her own exclamation point).  Of course, this weekend I also planned our one and only camping trip of the year AND my friend Sara is coming down from Northern California with her baby whom I’ve never met, and I also scheduled a breakfast with THEM!  Nothing happens in this family for weeks, and then it all hits on one weekend.

I peed on a stick today and found out I’m not pregnant.  I’m like Dr. Jeckle and Mr. Hyde on this issue, and you’re probably like, “What the WHAT?”  We’ve decided we’re just going to go for it.  Life is meant to be lived, and to me that means family.  I know I will regret not having a second child, or at least not trying.  Odie and I have had very well-timed, careless whoopie these past two months, and no positive pregnancy tests.  It’s been a long time since I got pregnant, and at my age, every year counts.  What hurts a little is that if I were unable to conceive a second time, Odie would be thrilled.  So, either way, one out of two of us will be happy.  And that ain’t bad.

Some of you are wondering if I have any scathing commentary for Kelle Hampton’s blog.  Not really.  What could I possibly criticize about the Down Syndrome Buddy Walk?  Except this: why “rock stars”?  When I think of rock stars, I think of alcoholic narcissists with substance abuse problems.  I think of Keith Richards talking about how he doesn’t remember much, and how he feels “embarrassment and shame” when reminded that he took his dick out at the party and wrapped a five dollar bill around it.  Yeah, ya think?  Rock stars are a troubled lot, generally.  Yes, there are exceptions, but for the most part, they don’t conjure up images of fuzzy headed little babies.  Except the ones they fathered out-of-wedlock with groupies.  I know there is that expression, “I’m a rock star!” and I have similar criticism of the expression.  You are?  You’re a temperamental, spoiled, marginally talented front-man with rage issues?  Bummer.  I’ve read that it helps some people to chant this silently or out loud to themselves “I’m a rock star, I’m a rock star.”  How about “I’m a Supreme Court Justice”? 

The other associated expression, “Party like a rock star” is meant to refer to binge drinking and drug-taking likely to result in an ER visit where you get your stomach pumped full of charcoal.  Not pretty.

And finally, Miz Hampton regales us with her husband’s theory that deja vu happens when you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be, doing exactly what you’re supposed to do in life.  Something like the Universe giving you the big “thumbs up” sign.  If that’s true, then my life’s purpose was to be sitting in my chair on Friday night, watching “Medium” and grading vocabulary tests.  That’s so depressing.

Maybe it’s the Robitussin DM talking, but I can’t get enough of the show “Parenthood,” mostly because of Peter Krause.  I was such a fan of “Six Feet Under,” I wept until my eyes were swollen shut when (SPOILER ALERT) Nate Fisher died.  This is not hyperbole.  I was a wreck.  If Baby V had been a boy, I had every intention of naming my son Nate.  On the season premiere of “Dexter,” I was so happy to see Michael C. Hall back in a funeral home, I cried.

“Parenthood” is a terrific show, but I would make two big changes.  Monica Potter is a terrible casting choice.  She’s WAY too blonde.  No one with her kind of stress would be able to keep up a dye job like that.  You have to be on those roots every two weeks.  The chick from “Gilmore Girls” is a fine enough actress, but her character is annoying.  I don’t like the way she’s written.  And YES, I realize I just criticized the woman playing Peter Krause’s wife and the woman dating him in real life, and I tell you that has NOTHING to do with it.  I had real and legitimate reasons for hating “Brenda” and “Lisa” on SFU as well.  THEY WEREN’T RIGHT FOR MY NATE!

Sorry, I’m getting a little shrill.

I’ll just leave you with this:  Is it really so hard to capitalize “I”?

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About Mrs Odie

Like you, only funnier.
This entry was posted in Essays/Commentary, Marriage, Parenting, Pure side-splitting comedy, The Bloom Project, Work Related and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

26 Responses to Monday Potpourri

  1. tabitha says:

    I just started reading. You are hilarious! I have lots to catch up on! Wondering if you and your hubby would ever consider adoption? Maybe not since he’s not super excited about another baby?
    On a side note, isn’t there some talk about cough syrup helping a person conceive. Could be a wive’s tale, but I’ve heard that before. Wondering too if you worry much about your age and the high probability for complications or birth defects. Not trying to scare you. I’m sure you’ve thought about it. How do you reconcile it. The fear of what if something were to go not according to plan if you conceive? I’m older too. That fear is there for me front and center! It could happen.

    • Mrs Odie 2 says:

      The chances of chromosomal defects are higher for women my age. The chances of a healthy, chromosomally normal baby are still overwhelmingly higher. My husband and I have decided we will love and accept any child we conceive. But yes, it scares me.

      • tabitha says:

        Yeah, that’s true. I still cringe at the odds for certain chromosomal defects. Wish I’d have met my hubby sooner when the odds were even greater for all going well. You know, aside from chromosomal issues, autism really scares me. Maybe even moreso. It is so common. Someone told me like 1:160. Didn’t look it up myself. I do have a distant cousin with an autistic child. Her life is difficult to say the least. In fact, she said if she had to have a child with special concerns, she’d have prayed for down syndrome! I mean, with autism you think all is fine. Then at like a year or so, you can learn otherwise. Very concerning! I worry alot, I guess!

        Good Luck as you consider growing your family!

        • ASDmomNC says:

          I would be that mom who was terrified of autism, and prayed that if I was destined for a special needs kid, that my kid would have anything but autism. Yeah. God is not without a sense of irony. My first kid is moderate to severely autistic. It’s made life interesting, to say the very least. 😉 It has nothing to do with my age (I was 29 when he was conceived and 30 when he was born), just everything to do with my husband’s and my dna combining. Nerd + nerd sometimes = autism.

          • tabitha says:

            I differ from Mrs. O, but agree with you on something from a while back. I think God gives us what we are intended to have though we don’t always understand. There’s a verse in psalms that talks about us being known even before we were formed in the womb. I’d have to find it, but that’s what it says basically. There is a reason your child is here and in your life. That’s comforting to think of for me. I’m sure there are rough times, but probably far more joy! 🙂 So, while I worry sometimes about getting pregnant at this stage, I hold to that belief. And if we don’t have a baby, I have to accept that too and be okay with it.

  2. Joanne says:

    I don’t know about a rock star but Mz. H is the spitting image of the actress Shelley Duvall. Not a real compliment I know but better looking than Keith Richards! I wonder if she buys outfits and then creates her blog posts. Everything must have a theme in her world it appears.

  3. meganger says:

    I just have to say, the whole bit on the term “rock star” just about brought me to tears from laughter. The worst part is, Im sitting in class, not paying attention to the lecture because this blog is so much more interesting. Of course I have to quell my giggles, which just led to more giggles, which led to full out, silent laughter which is in my opinion the worst kind because you feel like you just have to explode. Fantastic. I loved it.

  4. meganger says:

    no seriously, I cant stop LOLing. I just read it to the girl sitting next to me. Thank god were on the 10 minute break in the middle of class so I can uncap some of this laughter. So good.

  5. Michele R says:

    Well. You’ve totally made my Tuesday. You may have noticed me lurking. Or rather wondering who came for a lengthy visit (and then dropped by over and over again) after Googling something about that other blogger. Maybe you’ve wondered if said lurker was a MrsOdie2 lover or hater. Well, when I fall in love, I have to be sure. I have to try things on for awhile and see if they fit and feel good, see if I feel comfortable every time I’m over at your place.
    And I am. I love it over here. I’m a fan of your writing.
    I am a mom of three—had the last one at age 38. I grew up in So. CA but I have lived in GA for 25 years. My husband teaches and I am his daily outlet.
    Glad to hear you guys are going for it.
    I need to get on the Parenthood bandwagon, but I do dvr Modern Family every week.
    Oh, and I agree about the ghostwriting and everything else and more.

    • Mrs Odie 2 says:

      “Modern Family” is a wonderful show. Well-deserved Emmy this year. I feared that “Parenthood” wouldn’t succeed, because audiences can usually only take one type of show at a time, so here are two “eclectic family” shows. But one is drama and the other comedy, and they balance each other well. Two of my faves! Welcome aboard.

  6. ASDmomNC says:

    I don’t watch “Parenthood,” because it would interfere with my watching “Jersey Shore,” “Jerseylicious,” and “The Vampire Diaries.” Apparently, my nielsen tastes are that of a 12 year old girl. Meh. Whatever. Some people eat m&m’s, I let my brain eat m&m’s. It’s all good.

    Moving on, between your post and watching Guiliana & Bill (yeah, more m&m’s), when I napped with my littlest today, I dreamed about wanting another baby, and cried. I’m still perched firmly on that fence, and am envious of you and your bravery.

    One last note, hubs and I are starting to watch Dexter, and we just finished the last 3 episdoes of season 1 last night. Watching that little child scream for his mother and cry freaked me out to the point of hysterical sobbing. I know it’s only a tv show, but I have hugged my little ones so much tighter today.

    • Mrs Odie 2 says:

      Yeah… I waited a long time to watch this season, because I could not recover emotionally from the idea of a baby witnessing his mother’s murder. It hit too close to home for me.

      • ASDmomNC says:

        Hubby was pretty freaked out by how upset I got. That little boy’s voice was almost identical to my littlest’s voice, and his tiny little face…oh, God. I just wish I hadn’t seen it. As much as I love the show, that was just too much. I have had to keep visualizing the child actor all day, hearing the director yell, “cut,” and then getting up off the floor and smiling and walking off set. It helps a little bit, but not much.

      • tabitha says:

        You had some sinilar experience? I’m sorry if the case. How awful a scenario indeed. Never watched but have heard it’s good. Maybe I’ll start.

  7. Viki says:

    The most outrageous? The claim that Poppa carried the huge radio over his head for the entire walk. Sure he did Kelle. Sure he did. Pure fiction over in Hampton Land.

  8. mrsk6 says:

    That line about de ja vous is from Fringe. That’s all the commenting I can muster for tonight. School is kicking my ass… but, next time I accomplish my homework, make baby food and do all the laundry, I am so going to shout “I am a Supreme Court Justice!”

    • Rosie says:

      K-Hizzle likes to take credit for Thoreau’s stuff, too. Or maybe she thinks that it was originally from that barker, ‘Dead Poets Society’.

  9. SlippidyDippidy says:

    I love my SFU and Dexter. I agree, Brenda was all wrong for our Nate. Haven’t seen Parenthood yet except for the very first episode, which I didn’t like. I should try it again.

  10. Alisyn says:

    No, the craziest was the father’s day post when she cut up all of the gum drops and made gum drop hamburders and hot dogs complete with grill marks to place on top of cupcakes?!?!? Then made a big picnic area in her family room.

    I love Kelle, am obsessed with her blog but sometimes it makes me go to the dark side and get totally annoyed!

  11. Alisyn says:

    Well…I wish I could remain more open to the ways in which other people choose to pass the time.

  12. Alisyn says:

    ps – have not had a chance to read all of your posts but assume you consciously choose to write annonymously and not post pictures of your family. I respect that. I wonder what Kelle is thinking when she posts pictures of her children in the bath or her pre-teen nieces jumping off a dock in their bikinis. There are so many, many pervs out there! A child’s story/life is their own. Not material for a blog.

  13. Pingback: I Am a Supreme Court Justice! « Mrs. K-6's Blog

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