Writing, Camping, and Heartburn Treatments

I don’t write as often as I want to. I put a lot of pressure on myself to be interesting and funny (and to avoid overusing “a lot”). But I just checked out Heather Armstrong’s latest post on Dooce, and she clearly doesn’t pressure herself to be either, so maybe I should just write whatever is on my mind.

It’s been raining for a few days, off and on. Some friends of ours headed up to Big Sur to camp today, despite the rain forecast. I keep thinking about them and their 19 month-old baby, wondering how the camping trip is going as I listen to rain splattering on my deck and thunder rumbling through the mountains. God, how I wanted to be one of those hip, granola mommies that camps with her kids. I wanted it so much. And I’m not her. It sounds so terrifically inconvenient to camp with my kids. No running water, no flushing toilets, no Nick Jr. But I’m sure we will someday. With two kids, it will probably be the only kind of vacation this family of public school teachers will ever be able to afford.

My heartburn is unreal. Sometimes, when it flares up, I actually look at the sky and say, “You have GOT to be KIDDING ME!” The only remedy that gives me any relief is one I was extremely skeptical of when it was suggested to me. I have a wonderful colleague, a fellow teacher, who is easily one of the more entertaining men I’ve ever met. He’s a conspiracy theorist, among his many talents, and he despises “the establishment.” One of the biggest targets of his ire is Big Medicine. One day, I was complaining about my heartburn (long before I was pregnant – I’ve suffered from reflux since my teens) and he told me to swallow a few teaspoons of apple cider vinegar.

“The hell, you say. Acetic acid for my acid stomach?”

“I know,” he empathized. “It seems counterintuitive. No doctor will ever tell you about it, but it’s the cure for heartburn. pharmaceutical companies can’t make any MONEY off it, though. They want you to keep buying those pills that make the condition WORSE and never cure you. Trust me.” I asked him if it tasted bad. If it hurt. He smiled grimly. “It’s intense,” was his answer.

I have to be honest. I thought he was nuts, and I didn’t try it. Not for a very long time. When I finally did, it was because I already had some in the fridge for curdling soy milk to make vegan “buttermilk.” Yes, I really did that, and yes, it was as awful as it sounds. Suffering miserably from reflux, without a single Prilosec, Tums, Pepcid, Zantac, or teaspoon of Maalox in the house, I grabbed the bottle of ACV and took a shooter to the head. The pain that flared up in my stomach when the vinegar hit it curled my toes and made me run around the kitchen muttering, “Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod…” And then a few seconds later, I felt this bubbly, neutralizing feeling, and the pain was gone. It stayed gone. I took a couple teaspoons of ACV several times a day after that, ate smaller meals, avoided tomato products, and considered myself cured.

No one is paying me to say this (I WISH!). A bottle of ACV (organic, unfiltered) will cost you less than five bucks, so nobody stands to get rich. I swear to you, though, if you have heartburn, try it. I’m not going to lie to you, it is not a pleasant cure. Swallowing a pill is far more pleasing. Nevertheless, I stand by it and recommend it to everyone who ever mentions heartburn. You can mix it with water and honey to lessen the burn and sweeten the taste, but for me, I like to feel it working, and it’s better straight.

When I got pregnant, I was convinced that this treatment wouldn’t work anymore. So far, though, it really does help me. I do keep a bottle of Maalox by the bed for middle of the night attacks, though. Nobody’s perfect.

Advertisements

About Mrs Odie

Like you, only funnier.
This entry was posted in Essays/Commentary and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Writing, Camping, and Heartburn Treatments

  1. Cinoda says:

    Apple Cider Vinegar is good for so many things. I don’t think professionals know why it works, but I will tell you from personal experience that it helps in losing weight and preventing bladder infections. Again, I don’t know why, but so far I’ve never had a side effect. Google it somtime when you can, you’d be surprised what people swear it helps them with.

  2. Hehehe about Dooce.
    No sense thinking about camping until the kids are older IMO. We waited until youngest was out of diapers.
    Cool info about the ACV. The commenter above mentioned bladder infections, which I am the queen of those. I should try it. I am so curious as to what other medicine things your coworker mentions. Here is one for you: Find alfalfa tablets in the health food section. It incredibly boosts up the iron — take it the last three months of pregnancy in lieu of iron pills or trying to eat enuf food for the iron. Oh and here is another one for anyone who has to take antibiotics and then worry about yeast infection. Take acidopholis tablets at mealtime to counter that.

  3. Trixiebell says:

    ACV is the wonder stuff. It’s also supposed to prevent bladder stones, in both humans and dogs.
    Hydrogen peroxide is another cheap product that supposed to have a thousand benefits.

  4. Jessica says:

    How is it possible for Dooce to still make enough money to support a whole family? I used to read often, but now it’s one of three things: a video, a sponsored giveaway, or something ELSE about poop. I AM SO TIRED OF READING ABOUT POOP.

    • Mrs Odie 2 says:

      I cannot imagine in what universe she imagines anyone wants to read about her stories of clogged toilets. Does she think it humanizes her in some way? It’s absolutely disgusting. Poop is funny to eight year-old boys. I think she can be very funny and insightful, but I am so disappointed with her blog the past year. With all the money she makes off of it, can’t she scare up some good writing a few times a week?

  5. SlippidyDippidy says:

    Did you know that heartburn during pregnancy means that the baby will be born with a lot of hair? It’s true, totally true. Was true for me and some friends of mine. Look it up 🙂

    • Mrs Odie 2 says:

      Then this baby is going to be a little gorilla like her sister was. I swear, Baby V had hair from her eyebrows, up her forehead, down her back.

      **Update 9/5/11: Pringles was born with hair,but I wouldn’t say “a lot.” Unless you count the hair on her ears.

      • SlippidyDippidy says:

        That is how it was with my first baby too- she was my hairy gorilla girl, looked like she was wearing a toupee by 6 months she had such a mop on her head..and I did have a lot of heartburn. Not so much with my second – and she is now one and a half with the thinnest little baby mullet going on. 🙂

Comments are closed.