Gesundheit!

I’m 21 weeks pregnant today, and I still don’t look very pregnant. To a doctor palpating my abdomen, I do, but I walk among you and “pass.” I could drink a beer in a restaurant and get no dirty looks from anyone. Nobody opens doors for me yet or offers me their place in the bathroom line. More experienced women assured me I would show sooner with my second child, but that hasn’t been true for me. I think really skinny women look pregnant sooner than women like me. I’m not fat, but I’m pretty average. Plus, I was still carrying ten extra pounds from my last pregnancy when Odie snuck this one on me.

I have plenty of typical pregnancy things going on, though. Chief among them is the feeling of a little human being wiggling around in my uterus. She flutters against the waistband of my pants when I’m sitting, and does gymnastics after I consume sugar or caffeine.

A less charming pregnancy symptom that I had heard about but never believed would happen to me is peeing when I sneeze. It is most likely to happen right AFTER I have gone to the bathroom, which is unbelievably lame, if you ask me. Tonight, while Odie had V on the changing table, putting her in jammies, I sneezed and then cursed. Odie asked knowingly, “Pee yourself?” He’s sympathetic, of course, but still thinks it’s pretty funny. V asks, “What happened to Mommy?”

Mommy peed her pants, honey. Just like YOU! It’s so embarrassing. I dread the day that it happens at work. Luckily, it isn’t like a flood, more of a trickle. But it’s enough, my friends. It’s enough.

Thank God I don’t have allergies.

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About Mrs Odie

Like you, only funnier.
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8 Responses to Gesundheit!

  1. meganger says:

    you can’t image the glee I felt after reading three of your posts in one day! The peeing story never gets old, for the record. Its enough to scare me into insisting that my future partner be the carrier of our child. I can only imagine what other kind of hairy side effects come into play post pregnancy. You know… the kind not even your mother tell you about.

    • Mrs Odie 2 says:

      Let’s just say the pee thing is worse in the days after delivery. I was absolutely terrified that it was a permanent condition. The body has amazing powers to heal itself, however. I didn’t have this problem with the sneeze-pee until I got pregnant again. I have well over a pound of fluid and human sitting on my bladder at all times. The poor thing can only take so much.

  2. SlippidyDippidy says:

    Dude, I have not had any issues with the incontinence thing after the birth of my second daughter. Now, this will be way tmi, but I had food poisoning a few months ago— I was hurling so hard that I was effing peeing myself. NO bladder control at all when I was squeezing my abs that hard. I was feeling like death but still managed to start laughing after I stood up and saw what had happened. WTF.

  3. Tracy says:

    If you have enough warning before the sneeze, cross your legs at the knees and squeeze your thighs really tight and LEAN FORWARD! That way the downward thrust won’t be directed toward your uterus and bladder, but brace yourself on a desk or your knees if you have to because your head will bob! If you can’t cross your knees, at least lean forward against something. If you’re sitting when you feel the sneeze coming on, stand up fast and lean! Good luck!

  4. Rosie says:

    My very-active 85 yo mother is beginning to experience the same problem and is MORTIFIED by the prospect of having to use something like Poise pads. She doesn’t realize how many young women (younger than her own daughter) have the pee problem! Thanks for writing about it – I’m going to fwd this to her.
    BTW – I know we discussed Dig This Chick before, but I have never clicked on her blog. *cue gagging smiley*
    We thought KH was the worst writer to come down the pike? She’s going to have to stretch to top this: “I poured a glass of thick wine, descended to the studio put on some loud music and made myself a bag.”
    I guess if the gulf can hiss and fizzle, wine can be thick.

  5. Kim says:

    I just had my bladder lifted. My second baby is 22. I got to the point where thinking about sneezing would start the trickle and a sneeze would just finish me. My doctor said my bladder was almost falling completely out. I love being a girl. Hah!

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