Thanks for hanging in there with me. Sorry I haven’t posted in a while. I’m supposed to lie on my left side 24/7 and drink lots of fluids. Drinking the fluids makes the lying on my side 24/7 part problematic because I have to get up to use the bathroom fifty times a day.

My ear infection is better. Turns out, amoxicillin was the drug for me. Within two days of starting it, the pain had lessened and I could sleep again. I still can’t hear very well out of my afflicted ear, but it gets better every day. Thank you for all of your well wishes.

My lazy placenta seems to have gotten her ass in gear, and the blood flow to my daughter’s brain is normal. I’ve been having non-stress tests every couple of days, yet another obstacle to this 24/7 bedrest thing I’m supposed to do. I have been to a doctor’s office literally every day since I was told to rest all the time. All of the tests have shown that Pringles is doing well. She is very non-stressed.

At my appointment on Wednesday, I watched a few episodes of a show called “Extreme Couponing.” Wow. Those bitches crazy. For those of you unfamiliar with the show, these are some serious late-stage addicts whose drug of choice is “getting a good deal.” No matter if she already has 50 jugs of bleach. Because, you see, if she combines these coupons JUST RIGHT, she gets another 20 for FREE! Some of these crazy ladies have additions built onto their homes to store all of the purchases they’ve made. Purchases they will never use but, for reasons that were not explained, do not give away. One woman giggled in her interview how she needed to find a new use for toothpaste other than just brushing her teeth because she had so much of it and it was ALWAYS on sale. I guess giving it to homeless shelters or sending it overseas to refugee camps would just be out of the question.

Ultimately, I had to turn the show off because one goal for me at this point in my pregnancy (38 weeks, 3 days) is to keep my blood pressure low. And I mean SERIOUSLY? You just bought $600 of groceries for a penny and you can’t give that shit away? Baffling.

After a few non-stress tests (stress from couponing hoarders aside), I felt upbeat going into my ultrasound on Wednesday. Surely THIS would finally be the appointment where Dr. Doom said, “Everything looks great! Have a wonderful delivery! See you never!” But it was not to be.

Now it’s my amniotic fluid. It’s right at the cut-off of too low. It ISN’T too low, but it’s right on that border. In fact, on Wednesday, the doctor said he’d like to see me go ahead and deliver. As in RIGHT AWAY. At that point, I still didn’t have much pain relief from my ear infection, and Odie had his panties in four or five different twists from the stress of finishing his school year (which he will do on June 22).

Call me crazy, but when I tell my husband “It’s time!” I don’t want his reaction to be, “NOOOOOO! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!”

So, I negotiated. OH, and here’s the kicker. My obstetrician went to RUSSIA for two weeks. Yeah! The good news is her associate is mellow and comforting and doesn’t see any reason to rush an induction with a borderline low measurement when my NSTs all look promising. And now, here I am. I’ve had two more fluid measurements since Wednesday and it’s holding steady at the borderline. I’m on 24/7 bedrest and all the water I can drink without exploding. Pringles is moving lots, so I feel good about that. And so, we wait.

I need just 5 more days, but I’m fine with just making it through this weekend. I’m hopeful that my non-stress test on Monday will show an increase in my fluid level, or at least no decrease.

I’ll keep you updated! And because I’m so hopelessly trendy, I will do my best to “Tweet” during my delivery, when it happens. Even though I’m super embarrassed to even write that.