Keeping it together

Be very quiet, because this is unbelievable and it won’t last. My whole family is asleep and I am currently unencumbered by a child. Emerson once said, “No child is so beautiful but the mother doesn’t love to see him asleep” and it’s SO true. I felt guilty about it at first. How can I be a good, loving mother when my favorite time is nap time? My favorite time is when I’m NOT interacting with my kid?

I discovered through reading and conversation that almost all mothers love nap time. It’s why there are so many photos like this:

I realize that photo isn’t aligned correctly, but I don’t have time to take the WordPress tutorial. I can see on the Summer Video Infant Baby Monitor that my time is limited. I’ve broken my rule of no photos yet again. Like one commenter wrote, my scrumptious baby girl is likely to make me go a little soft on you. This is our “family bed.” We don’t all sleep together like this all night. Viva’s crib is sidecar on Odie’s side with the front railing removed and Pringles has a co-sleeper on my side of the bed. Saturday mornings, though, everyone comes into bed with mommy and daddy. Visualize me in between the girls and you have an accurate picture.

Just last night, I was wondering, “How the hell does a marriage survive two kids?” This morning, I was snuggling my husband, whispering, “Let’s enjoy this before the kids wake up.” We argued last night over how to handle a crisis. Viva was throwing a tantrum. She went Category 5 on the Toddler Scale. It was clear to me that she was in a panic of abandonment. As I walked around the house with Pringles in the Moby Wrap, I scooped Viva up on the other hip, but she would have none of it. Crying almost hysterically, she declared, “You’re NOT her mommy. You’re MY mommy!” Odie had just gotten off of the phone with a relative whom he’d had to let down and he was feeling guilt. I snapped at him about something and he snapped back and before I knew it I had a squalling infant strapped to my chest, a wailing toddler on my hip, and a pissed off husband standing before me.

About an hour later, with both girls asleep, I reached deep past pride for an apology. Odie, touched by me admitting fault and attempting to reconcile, was receptive and had apologies of his own. We made it through. I guess that’s how you keep a marriage together with two kids. You apologize when you’re wrong.

And usually, when you’re right too.

Uh oh, everyone’s up. I mean, YAY! Everyone’s up!


About Mrs Odie

Friendly Pedant; Humble Genius
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7 Responses to Keeping it together

  1. Shellie says:

    Never feel guilt that you are happy whenever the girls are asleep at the same time. You are a much better and patient mommy when you get 5 minutes of peace at any time during the day. As far as keeping a marriage together with 2 kids, remember your children are a gift from God but you and Odie chose each other. No 2 people in close proximity with 2 small demanding children can get along every minute. You’re right though, apologies go a long way.
    As for Viva and Pringles, have you tried taking V out for a short period by yourself or with Odie by himself? Maybe if she feels special and big it might help. I nursed #2 child, then for 1/2 an hour took #1 to the park. Not only did the excercise help, but #1 knew the baby was too small to do this kind of stuff. That helped mine anyway.
    Occasional pictures are lovely even with your no photography rule. Both are so cute and for those of us who have full grown teenage boys, it is adorable to see little people that are still cute. At this point with an 18 yr old leaving for college and a 16 yr old dying to drive, not really sure which stage I like better. Tired and frustrated all the time with babies or snarkiness and frustrated all the time with teenagers. At least yours will eventually go to bed at the same time, I now go to bed earlier than the children.
    Love the blog, it brings back memories of sweet baby smells and being someone’s favorite. I assure you my boys have not fought over “you’re my mommy!” for a long time. 🙂

  2. Mindy says:

    Once, with my first baby, I mentioned to my own mother how much I loved naptime, and she said “Oh no, don’t say that!” But sorry, everyone needs time off, no reason to feel guilty about it. Nature’s way of giving moms a break 🙂
    That’s great that you were able to apologize right away and move on. It’s such a surprise, the silly fights that can occur while dealing with babies, isn’t it? Amazing how newborns can stress even the most solid of relationships. I guess it’s because you can’t really snap at a baby, so you end up snapping at your partner, who’s done nothing wrong except for being the only other adult in the room.

  3. Meghan2 says:

    Why is it I feel like a rock star just because you “mention me” in this post (going soft comment)?

    Anyway, you enjoy motherhood in your own way, who gives a baby poop about what others think should or shouldn’t be your favorite motherhood moments. Besides what is there not to love when you see your two little girls sleeping, quiet and content?!?!?

  4. Rosie says:

    Pringles is growing! Good job, Mom! Two beautiful little girls……..

  5. Sinead says:

    I have never commented on a strangers blog before, but I spent the weekend reading yours and found it to be funny, informative and parts of it were just so darn true!

    I work in a high school, though not as a teacher (thank god). I have four girls but my youngest is now six, so I am reading your stories about your kids and remembering when mine were that young.

    So I just wanted to write a gratuitous gushy comment to show my appreciation of your writing. (and I promise I am not always this gushy)

    • Mrs Odie 2 says:

      Thank you! I love it when I see on my stats that somebody is reading the old blogs. It usually means I have a new reader, which I love! I hope you stick around.

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