No matter how good you have it, someone has it better.
Conversely, no matter how bad you have it, someone has it worse.
Recently I wrote a sort of complainy post (who? ME?!), and a commenter sent me a link to someone’s horrible blog and told me that it should put my life into “perspective.”
I could fill every page of a hundred notebooks with gratitude. I could tell you a thousand details of how great my life is and how lucky I am. But who wants to read THAT smug bitch’s blog? Not me.
By the logic of the commenter, no one has the right to complain EVER. Let me elucidate.
Imagine that you are the mother and father who write a blog about their poor baby’s death from a brain tumor. I could zip on over to the comment section of that blog and comment: “At least you HAD a baby. Some people are infertile.” I could also remind them that their baby was with them for eight months while some people’s children are stillborn. Or remind them that their child perished in a few short weeks while others spend years or lifetimes watching their children suffer.
But that would be cruel and unnecessary.
I could type up the url to Heather Armstrong’s Dooce blog, where she has been going on about her various injuries acquired from training for a marathon in too short a time. When she writes about her broken foot, I could sign up for her community in order to leave some gem in the discussion forum like: “Some people don’t even HAVE feet. You should count your blessings.”
I could tell The Bloggess that some people don’t HAVE a few hundred dollars to spend on a giant metal chicken to leave on their own doorstep as a “fuck you” to their husbands. Some people don’t even HAVE husbands. Some people live in countries who have never heard of Beyonce.
Okay, that last one can’t possibly be true.
So people don’t get to complain about their relationships because others are lonely or abused. We don’t get to bitch about our jobs because so many are out of work. And we don’t get to explore the trials of mothering typical children because some kids have autism.
Perspective is just a way of looking at things. There is no correct perspective. Because we have an unlimited number of perspectives, there are interesting works of art in this world and not just one photograph that we all hang on our walls.
But some people don’t even HAVE walls.
That sucks. And it sucks when people hide behind a computer and write things like that. Especially if its maybe something that commenter has never experienced.
And duh! This is why we have blogs… So we can brag, complain, etc.
I am right there with you. If you get a hang nail and that day it is just buggin the poo out of you, vent. I already know that you are more than educated enough to understand there are far worse things, but in that moment that bleeping hang nail is a real pain in the…
I think we would be hard pressed to find mothers that in the moment of screaming and fit throwing are only thinking to themselves “well, this is so nice, at least I have a baby to scream at me (kid to back talk, teen to cuss at me).” No I imagine even the most patient, sweetest of mothers (even those who shall not be named) are thinking something closer to “Oh boy I wish this would stop” if not something a little darker.
Besides I think complaining isn’t so much saying “Oh my life (this event) sucks” but more about sharing the moment and feeling part of a bigger community that sometimes feels the same way.
Ugh sorry to run on.
the bloggess kinda annoyed me with spending all the money on a stupid chicken! people are stuggling to eat and afford heat
While I understand the sentiment, I really do, that kind of plays into my whole point. I just spent 20 bucks on a dress at Target because my daughter wanted to play dress up in it. She didn’t need it. She’ll have no practical use for it. But it will make her happy. What twenty bucks is to me may be what 100 bucks is to The Bloggess. And someone who doesn’t even have money to buy food for her family might look askance upon me because I wasted that money. It was an excellent investment for The Bloggess. She wrote a hilarious article about it that went viral and as a result she sold her book.
You crack me UP. Well said.