This week everyone on Facebook is writing about what she’s thankful for. Some people even do a letter of the alphabet every day. I can already predict I will be irritated at how everyone cheats when they get to “x”. They will probably write adorable things like “x-mas” and “x-tra love from my girls!” And I will gag a little bit x-cessively.

Is being thankful for Xanax too obvious? Probably.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the thankful. I, myself, have been known to be thankful for a few things. Health is now number one, since I am knocking on the door of forty and I have two kids and aging parents. Work is something to be thankful for these days. I’m a UC Davis alumnus, and I am happy that the police who pepper-sprayed passive protesting students are getting called to the mat for their brutality. Justice is something to be thankful for. May more people in the world get it.

A glass of cabernet with thick legs, a baby with thick legs, a toddler with thick hair – the latter two currently asleep. Singing inappropriate rap songs to my baby because nothing makes her giggle harder. Yeah. Especially “Yeah” by Usher et al.

I’m thankful that I don’t know what “You hold the head steady I’ma milk the cow” actually means. I have a vague idea, but I concentrate my thoughts elsewhere. It took me about a year to figure out “my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard” and I was never quite the same after.

Oh, shit, this is turning into one of those “what I’m thankful for” posts, isn’t it?

Damn it.

I’m thankful for my DVR, even though 50% of the time when I tell it to record a show, it tells me to go fuck myself. It doesn’t understand the power dynamic of our relationship. Or, more likely, I don’t.

Thanksgiving is about family and for many of us out there, that is a double-edged sword. I respect my family’s privacy as much as possible here, so I won’t go into detail. I’m saving that stuff for the book. While this holiday inspires joy and longed-for family reunions for many, for others, it’s about reactivating old issues and playing out hurtful family scenarios. Those patterns having worn grooves into my soul, therefore I’m grateful that my stepmom always buys champagne, although I haven’t been able to partake in more than a single glass since 2008 when I started breeding.

I am thankful that this year is not last year.

Odie has a three day work week, and that is my favorite holiday perk of all. I miss him desperately. One of us always has a kid, and once both are asleep, he usually is too. I’m thankful he’s such a great father and that we get a babysitter and have date night every couple weeks. Because he’s also a fine hunk of man.

I don’t know if I’ll have time to post before Thursday. I hope I do. If not, I wish you and yours an excellent four day weekend. Whatever you’re into, be it turkey, football, shopping, drinking, gossiping or pepper-spraying students in the face, I hope the holiday brings you what you’re looking for. I am so thankful for you, my readers, fans and haters alike.