When I have many tasks to complete, I get easily overwhelmed and the result is often paralysis. At work, the balancing act of planning lessons, writing tests, ordering copies, answering emails, calling parents, and grading papers results in me up to my armpits in paperwork, bemused as to how it all piled up so quickly.
I hound my students to date and label everything, but inevitably I must waste time trying to figure out the origin and destination of errant papers. And of course, there are the late assignments, fluttering in to fuck with any sense of order I felt I had.
At home, the laundry and the dishes pile up. The baby is sitting in her high chair right now howling her head off to be let down. If I do so, she will come to my desk and pound on the computer keys. The only reason I have leave to be at my husband’s computer right now is that I took a sick day.
The baby was coughing all night and had a mild fever. It was probably borderline whether she could attend day care, but I chose to keep her home. We both needed a rest. I can’t say I feel rested, however.
I don’t want my blog to become “Reasons I don’t blog.” I must admit, however, that I am in the weeds. I’m struggling against my depression as I feel overwhelmed by my roles. I don’t believe I’m doing any of them well enough: mother, wife, teacher, writer, friend, pet-owner, sister, daughter, housekeeper, cook, bookkeeper… All of my jobs loom unfinished or barely finished before me all the time. We’re struggling with money too, which adds a layer of stress to everything.
Ah, resorting to my old Bummer Girl superhero character.
At least the stifling heat has finally let us go. My girls are all ready for trick-or-treating next week. My grades are turned in, even though I had to leave off some assignments because I didn’t have time to grade them. I have a much better grip on what I have to do every day, just to stay afloat.
Okay, now Pringles is screaming instead of howling. Sigh. I have to handle that. Thanks for checking in. This, too, shall pass.
(which is one of those quotes famously attributed to someone who never said it).