I’m finishing up week 4 of my new school year. Weaning two year-old Pringles has me accruing sleep deprivation like when she was newborn. Tonight, Odie helped Viva with her first ever homework while I wrote reading quizzes for The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. I’m over my virus, but not feeling 100%. Suffice it to say, for the woman who checked me out at Vons and bagged up my tampons, maxi pads, and ice cream, I didn’t leave any mysteries.

I discovered my phone will auto-correct “maxi pads” to “Nazi pads.”

I mean to find my groove of planning lessons, writing tests, correcting tests, cooking, cleaning, bathing children, sneaking in 20 minutes of sex with my husband before children’s birthday parties. And somehow, I will manage to keep my three jobs.

And then watch out, Odie. You might be looking at twenty-five minutes next time.