Saturday Potpourri

Whenever I haven’t posted in a while, which is every other post lately, I put tremendous pressure on myself to write. I have about twelve drafts at this point from “Failure of a Working Mother” to “Fuck Kelle Hampton.” But I just have to post something, anything, because my anxiety goes through the roof every time I see “WordPress” on my toolbar.

On Valentine’s Day, my domain name expired, so I bought “mrsodie.com.” No more “2.” I may not be the first Mrs. Odie, but I am certainly the only.

I’m writing with a squirming toddler on my lap. She complains, “Mommy, I can’t see,” meaning the TV. So I just sat her next to me on the throne (my chair and a half from Z Gallery circa 1997). “I’m not comfortable!” she whines. I spent several minutes adjusting pillows and the ottoman and a blanket and arguing with her about how I need both arms to type. This is my writing career. Sabotage.

Work has been so stressful. I can’t be the mother I want to be, the teacher I want to be, or the writer I want to be. I feel like I’m just running in place. I’ve channeled my writing compulsion into emails and a syllabus with sometimes disastrous results. I need to retain a lawyer to follow me around telling me “Don’t answer that,” and “Say nothing.” It’s always been a problem of mine, this prolixity. I’m even doing it this very moment now. Strunk and White would slap my face. First Strunk, then White, then Strunk again. Rule of three.

My husband has been snoring on the couch since 8:00, so I guess I’m watching the remaining seven episodes of House of Cards, Season 2 by myself, If I can ever get these two kids, who napped until 4:30, to go the fuck to sleep. This is always the point where I say to myself, “Naw, save it as a draft. Publish later.” Notgonnadoit (Dana Carvey as President H.W. Bush).

I’m trying to hold it together, and not just live my life as “What happens between episodes of The Walking Dead.” Procrastination. We’re all infected.

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About Mrs Odie

Like you, only funnier.
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10 Responses to Saturday Potpourri

  1. cng says:

    I don’t care how often you do (or don’t) write. I am just amazed at the clarity of your thoughts in spite of the challenges you describe. I have 8-month old twins who don’t yet crawl and am still on maternity leave. I’m overwhelmed. You have two human beings who MOVE and ARGUE AND you have a full time job. I bow to you. Oh, and yes – Fuck KH.

  2. LaFawne says:

    agree on the KH opinion. I just found you recently so I am happy to see a new post anytime! Glad you can now be the ONE and only Mrs. Odie- 🙂

  3. Meghan2 says:

    Totally off topic, but was hoping to get your opinion; how do you feel about the Common Core Standards? Is your state implementing them? Finally, did I use that semi-colon correctly? I’m afraid not.

    • Mrs Odie says:

      Technically the semi-colon is used correctly. Think of it this way, you can use it between independent clauses just like and or but. It’s like a coordinating conjunction for clauses.

      I don’t know much about Common Core. As an English teacher, I am not affected by changes much. What I’ve read of Common Core, they are the same in 11th grade as they were before. We always focus on close reading of complex texts and rhetorical analysis.

      As a teacher and a mom, I’m suspicious of anything “standardized.” Testing is a racket. It’s just a money-making scheme for politicians and textbook companies. Teachers and students are just the poor suckers who have to do all the work while they make their “House of Cards” style deals and count their money. The only people who should be making decisions about what to teach and how are teachers.

      • Meghan2 says:

        I think that is most basic way the use of the semi-colon has been explained to me. Maybe now I will be able to use it properly 99% of the time, thank you.

        We are military and recently moved from a Common Core state to a non-Common Core state (though they will be next year). Because in a Common Core math class you can be taught such a wide range of things (my 7th grade son was taking Algebra, but it was still called Common Core 7) it took 2 1/2 months to get him into the proper math class here. It was the most difficult transition we have had yet and we have been part of 7 school districts.

        I am also opposed to standardized testing, even more so after I was a substitute teacher in a previous school district. They were practicing for the written portion of their test and I was instructed on how to prep them to write the essay. I was told it is ridiculous because they will never write this way again for any reason, but the first score they get for the paper is based on its length, not the content. So, forget clear, concise paragraphs, they had to write and write whatever nonsense until the filled all three pages to get the highest score possible. Why teach, even for a moment such nonsense. I think “you guys” are stuck between a rock and a hard place. Go you for sticking with it!

  4. Michael says:

    Hello? Anyone home?

    • Mrs Odie says:

      The lights are on at least. I saw your name in my email and I went, “Oh, fuck, I’d better write something.” Thanks, Michael.

      ETA: How’s the solo venture going? Is your boss a slave-driving asshole?

      • Michael says:

        My boss is lazy and disorganized, and doesn’t shave as often as he used to. And he probably needs to tap into his assholishness a little more so that I’ll work harder. Solo work has its ups and downs; freedom but a lot of responsibility; and no one else to blame when something doesn’t get done. Thanks for asking.

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