April 1, 2014
From her pigeon-toed, open-mouthed selfies to her Poppa, I cannot get enough of Kelle Hampton.
Christmas has passed, but her book Bloom, Finding Beauty in the Unexpected would make a terrific Easter gift. Especially if you gave up amazing writing for Lent. This book would be a perfect way to break that fast.
Speaking of her amazing writing, no one can pepper a sentence with “Dude” or replace the g in an -ing word with an apostrophe like Kelle Hampton can. It makes me feel like she’s sittin’ right here talkin’ to me.
Ha! As if I could be so lucky!
Very few people in this world are inspirational like Kelle Hampton. Her words and ideas can change the world. The whole fucking world. Oops, her dad hates it when she swears. Isn’t that adorbs?
When she was pregnant, she thought she was having a second perfect baby girl. The thing is, God chooses the most specialest people in the world and gives them babies with designer genes (GET IT?! It’s a pun! God, she’s funny too! All of that and FUNNY). You really ought to read her book to get the full amazing summary, but just let me tell you that when Kelle’s daughter Nella was born with Down syndrome, she loved her anyway.
I know, right?!
I mean, not right away. She’s not Jesus.
But once she cobbled together a blog about it and realized she could rock out Down syndrome like no one ever had before, she decided to embrace it like it was ugly tile. The popularity of her one viral post says it all. People know good writing. Look at the popularity of “Heaven is for Real.”
If you’ve never heard of Kelle Hampton, sister, you must not hesitate another moment. Slide your smooth slippery fingers over your Samsung keyboard and spell out The Small Things. It’s a place wherefore babies are slung on hips. Laundry is ignored in favor of popsicle pictures of exotic almond-eyes and bent pinkie sunsets. Tiny turtles tempt tots’ toes. Kelle always accentuates alliteration.
As a working woman with two young children, nothing thrills me more than a stay-at-home Mommy Blogger who declares spring break a “lazy week.” She positively promotes play instead of work, which I totally could never do, nor could anyone I know, but just knowing that she is rocking it out at home, taking pictures of her kids and posting them on the internet instead of working, makes me feel like absolutely anything is possible, even over-loaded run-on sentences.
Like me, Kelle Hampton idolizes Emerson, who went to the beach because he wanted to live deliberately. To suck the marrow out of life while buying as many craft supplies, home decor items, cute outfits, shoes, barrettes, Washi tape rolls, and camera doodads as possible. Her ability to zero in on exactly what Whitman meant by “Spartan-like” when he wrote Charlotte’s Web will make you rethink your own version of putting to rout all that is not life. Or something.
I’m sorry for going on and on. Something about this beautiful first day of April inspires me. It’s like my love of all things Kelle has turned me into a marrow sucking machine.
I never promote other bloggers, but to quote Kelle’s website motto, “4 Pay it Ward.”
The Friendly Pedant by Mrs. Odie 
Yaaaay!!! You got your ‘funny’ back!
I wish I had the first comment!!!! Emerson at the beach to live deliberately! My new motto!
Wherefore did he go?
God I love you.
CJ, good to see you!
Realllllllly, Mrs. Odie – Realllllllllllly? Was this necessary today?
I kept reading – from the subject line of this post – all the way through to the end, in the hope that I’d read, “ha ha – April Fool’s – gotcha!”……..but – nope – it was indeed just another one of your “blast Kelle Hampton” posts……….
What brought this on today? A ‘slow news’ day?………..your students were all well behaved and handed in their assignments on time? …….. your marriage is as good as can be expected – and possibly better than most?………..no floods?………..no tsunamis?…………your car is running well?……..No real subject matter, here – so let’s go over to Kelle Hampton’s corner of the playground, and kick a little sand in her face!
For the life of me, I cannot understand why you do it! Why you choose to ridicule a woman, whose biggest thorn in your side seems only to be that she views life through a differently focused lens, than you do! Who cares?!?! She’s not harming you – she’s not harming anyone. She certainly doesn’t spill vitriol – which is more than can be said of you, when you spew out your opinions of her!
You are a brilliant writer – with an amazing mind. Your writings have made me ponder, they’ve made me laugh, they’ve brought me to tears, they’ve made me consider another view, and now that I have a tiny grandson, they’ve made me worry about the future of education………But, Mrs. Odie, those blog postings that brought about the moments of questioning, laughter, tears, and/or contemplation, contained absolutely n.o. m.e.n.t.i.o.n. of Kelle Hampton! The ones you’ve written about her, have invoked emotion, to be sure – sadness and bewilderment, to name a couple, because I just can’t comprehend the need to belittle someone else………especially when your posts about your own life-experience, stand so well on their own!
Now, I don’t suppose that one dissenting response, from just one reader, is going to change your plan for future posts! It’s your blog – you can write whateverthehell you want to write – and – I would say, from even the little I know about you – that you’ll do exactly that! 🙂
But – I’m asking you to consider one request…………If you can’t stop poking at Mrs. Hampton – then, please, at least – you must – stop ridiculing her for (your conceived notion) of her feelings at the birth of her second child. It’s just wrong………..and……….as a Mother yourself, I’m not really sure how you find it in your heart to be able to do it!
I’ve read the post where she wrote about her daughter’s birth – and the shock and terror she felt. Never once – in that post, have I ever read that she didn’t love her little girl. Her shock, her anguish, her fear, her belief that she wasn’t going to be able to cope, are all palpable throughout…………..but, no love for the child????????? I don’t read that, at all! But – even if she did question her ability to love and effectively parent her child with Down Syndrome – would she be any different from you or me – or countless thousands of other parents in this world?
For one Mom to question the love that another one feels for her child(ren) – just for the sport of publicly ridiculing her – is so sadly inappropriate. Please stop that part……..
If you really feel that your blog isn’t complete without a few digs at Kelle Hampton every year – well – you’re capable of so much more – but, carry on with your bad self, if you must! There’s lots of other areas of her life for you to ‘vulture-ize’! (is vulture-ize a word, teach?!). Carry on about pigeon toes, and trophy wife, and fashionista, and blond-now-brunette, and aging spouse, to name but a few………..but, leave her love for her kids out of it! It’s as real as yours is for Viva and Pringles – end of story!
Finally(!) – I’m at the end of my comment……….do you allow replies this long?! 🙂 Take care – and keep up the good work………..the part where you make me ponder, reflect, laugh, shed a tear, and worry a little!
Cheers…………………………..Rosemary
Actually, my car needs about $4000 in repairs. Maybe more. It sucks. Sadly, it isn’t funny. No birthday Disneyland trip this year, summer school for me instead. Maybe you missed my mention of the date at the beginning of the post. And the end. And no, I don’t allow replies this long, but I made an exception for you. If you just used regular periods, I’ll bet you could shorten your comment by 30%, but you know that 46% of statistics are made up on the spot.
*like*
I for one like your snark. It’s easier than looking you up on GOMI.
I’m truly sorry about your car! And – for the change in plans that are being made as a result. Rotten, disappointing deal!
I’m honoured (there is a ‘u’ in that word, here in Canada!) that you made an exception for me – and my loooong reply. Just to show you how appreciative I am, I’m going to use only regular periods in this response! By gosh, you’re right! Look how much shorter this one is, when compared to the one last night!
Just one of the many free services I offer.
🙂 🙂 – *like*
Last time I checked, this is Mrs. Odie’s blog. She can write about anything she wants. It’s up to you whether you decide to read it or not. All I can say is you must have a lot of time on your hands to be able to write a response that long about something you supposedly didn’t want to read.
Mrs. Odie…keep sucking the marrow and spitting out your fabulous writing, no matter the subject matter.
Here is the thing that makes no sense to me. When I’ve been criticized for something I didn’t do, something that isn’t true, something that isn’t even close to the truth, it doesn’t bother me. When students in all of their adolescent hyperbole complained that “all I EVER DO is talk about my wedding!” because I mentioned it a few times in class when it was imminent, I made a face, rolled my eyes, said, “That’s absurd,” and moved on with my life. Since I am so completely and totally off base in my satire of Her highness the Kween, then why can’t her fangirls make a face, roll their eyes, and move on with their lives? As Han Solo once said, “Must’ve hit pretty close to the mark to get her all riled up like that, eh, Chewie?”
Open your eyes Rosemary. As a mother myself I find her to be dangerous to other moms. I fully believe some people are going to look back on their child rearing, after idolizing her, with regret.
I recently read an article called “I’m done trying to make my kid’s childhood magical.” It was sent to me with the subject line “Who does THIS remind you of?” Truly, the comparisons to The Truman Show are hackneyed at this point, but ring true nevertheless. Children are people. They have rights. They should have self-determination. Most child actors I’ve known personally suffered terribly growing up going on auditions and working as actors. Sure, it’s anecdotal, but it’s still real. Those children ostensibly chose that life. Every time I see a baby in a television show or movie who’s crying, it bothers me because that child is not pretending to cry. I don’t approve of Hampton and others who make money off their children’s images. We need a Jackie Coogan Law for the internet.
I have to agree with Rosemary today. Bash Kelle if you like but kids, our love of and insecurities about, are not fair game. This post as amusing in spots as it is, really makes you sound very jealous. Go back to snark about school, you do that so well. 🙂
Can you direct me to the rule book on “fair game”?
Well, sorry Mrs. Odie, but I also agree with Rosemary, minus all the extra periods!
Don’t be sorry. I know Kelle’s fans will tell me I’m wrong. You do it every time. Still, reread Nella’s birth story. I am sure Kelle will appreciate the extra page views in addition to the Mrs.Odie bump she gets when I write about her. It’s nothing like the GOMI bump, to be sure, but here’s a highlight.
“I remember feeling….nothing. As if I literally left my body for a bit. But [the witnesses] said I kissed her. They said I loved her. They said I was a mama.”
Whackadoodle fangurls find it too hard to see their ‘hero’ go down in flames. Truth hurts.
Do any of these people who comment know she planned these charades in advance? She is so far removed from her kids emotionally, spiritually, physically even now. Nothing new. That’s all Mrs. Odie is writing about.
I’m not in the Kelle Fan Club. I’ve read it a few times, but I would much rather read what you have to say. I am a former teacher, and I really love reading about your classroom experiences. I do remember when we first got phones in our room! I remember thinking, at first, how great it was to not have to walk all the way to the office when a parent called after school. Oh, but then the calls came more often, and I dreaded seeing the message light go on because it meant getting home even later because a ten minute phone call lasted twenty, thirty, forty minutes. It’s really hard being a great teacher and a great mommy at the same time. Anyway, I just think your comments about Kelle’s feelings about the birth of her little girl were harsh.
For the commenter above who said, “she’s not harming anyone”, I beg to differ. She has exploited her children to such a degree that it borders on abuse.
But other than that, you’re right. Kelle hasn’t harmed anyone.
A day late and 4 quarters short, bless you for this: “People know good writing. Look at the popularity of “Heaven is for Real.””
I needed that laugh even if it did startle my cranky-been-screaming-on-and-off-for-hours-finally-sleeping 6week old baby.
They do that, don’t they! The Golden Age of baby (16-20 weeks) is right around the corner.
“Designer Genes”
I don’t know who introduced Kelle to this expression, but they probably deserve some royalties or something.
Because she sure took that and ran with it, didn’t she?
I have never commented before, but love your blog. I love to read things that real working moms go through because as much as we all want it to be, this world is not all rainbows and unicorns. there is crap, a lot of crap and life isn’t fair.
i am in the club that thinks that YES kelle hampton is hurting someone. she is hurting her children by exploiting them and hurting many women who feel that are less of a mom because they can’t do it all like kelle can (and do it with a thigh gap and $200 shoes on).
blog on mrs odie! (i had three exclamation points, but deleted two, just for you)
-mree
I can take or leave Kelle Hampton. She does seem rather self-involved but so what? And yes, she mostly only blogs and photographs the happy moments of her life. How is that different from you but in the reverse? Surely you occasionally have a pleasant moment now and again but you’d never know it from your blog. You both have a slanted view of life ~ just in the opposite direction. And if her “happiness” is sometimes artificial, well, maybe your “unhappiness” is sometimes manufactured too.
Obviously Kelle Hampton has gotten under your skin but I’d venture to say she’s not the only one. How many others in your “real world” also draw your ire? I’m guessing that includes anyone who is financially well-off, who has a stay-at-home husband, a happy outlook and definitely anyone who has published a book. Your post about KH made you appear so embittered and jealous. I find that very sad for a young mother and teacher such as yourself; I really do.
Mean commenters on someone’s blog are called trolls. What’s the name for a blogger who uses entire posts to attack another blogger? As they say about trolls, why do you even read another person’s blog if you hate her so vehemently? I’m not really familiar with blog etiquette but your attack on KH would seem to violate any blog etiquette I can envision. And as I said, I can take or leave KH. No dog in that fight.
I’d suggest that you write about something else. What about something pleasant? There’s a thought!
We’re called “satirists”, “humorists”, “social commentators”, or just writers. My mom says I was born this way. My oldest is exactly like me, and it’s tiresome as hell. Luckily, she’s also funny, so phew! And thank you for calling me young!
“The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases.” Carl Jung
I don’t think you like my shoes.
John Cheever, I don’t think so. Just comes across as sour grapes.
Such a hackneyed comment. I think you’ll find it on every Kelle Hampton post anyone’s ever written.
I read the birth story in question after your first KH post. My immediate reaction is somewhere in an email to you and it was something like “holy shit, she doesn’t love her baby.” This post is brilliant satire. Sarcasm as sarcasm was designed. Back-handed compliments on top of clever insults. Your best KH post to date!
Loved it!
Thanks, L. Although, Meg thinks I write your comments myself. Tee hee hee. Can you believe I’m about to have Viva’s FIFTH birthday party at that park where we met? I’m in shock. Also, I have always thought, deep within myself, that the reason KH’s birth story resonated with so many is because she reacted with horror and disgust and grief over her child with Down syndrome’s birth, and considering the 90% plus abortion rate for a prenatal Ds diagnosis, that must be a typical reaction. I think that somehow Kelle Hampton made that reaction okay. Revulsion. Horror. Grief. Rejection. She normalized those emotions to the public and acted as a receptacle for those feelings in her readers. Through her, readers could experience the catharsis without actually having to go through the experience. No one “blames” her for being devastated, and they attack me for criticizing. No one wants a “defective” child. The anti-vax movement is all about fear of autism, for example. It makes the people who have children with Down syndrome or autism feel even more stigma, seeing people “understand” how horrible Kelle would feel to have a child like theirs. And maybe I would feel that way too, but it wouldn’t be “okay” and I wouldn’t deserve to be praised for it.
Hey, L., I wrote your comments myself!
Meg, I don’t delete comments that I don’t like, the way your idol Kelle Hampton does, but when I start to get weary of the asinine rantings of a commenter drunk on the sound of her own voice, I choose not to post them. And I get to do that.
Since I don’t delete, I just moderate, sounds like someone is butthurt her rantings didn’t all make it through. Sorry!
That mama has pedophiles all over the world enjoying a nude picture of her special needs child. Is there, really, anything else that needs to be said?
Between you and GOMI, you make life worth living…only wish you would blog more. That’s all, I have nothing to say about Kellie Hampton…
Thanks! I wish I had more time to write. Maybe after the AP Exams are over, which is soon. I also just found out I’ll have a partner next year! I hate being a singleton teacher, the only person who teaches the course. Our school is luckily very big on collaboration, and it really helps to have another person to bounce ideas off of.
GOMI is better than the gossip mags lately! I keep forgetting to check D-Listed and Celebitchy because I’m so busy catching up on GOMI. Last week, I think it was 50 pages in a couple of days! I missed a lot, but really enjoyed it. Great writers on the KH forum. Thanks for stopping by.
Baaahahaha!! That was perfect.
Perfect? Thank you!